Rock
Scissors
Fuck
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Randomize
