Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
