He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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