Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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