She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
