Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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