Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
