Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
