I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
