I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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