yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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