See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
