I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize