even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
