the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Randomize
