I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We need to rekindle our bromance
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
