I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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