Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
