party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
