CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize