dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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