I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
