it's not cheating when I paid for it
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
