Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
