Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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