I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I look better un-naked...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I don't deserve a penis
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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