ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Boobs are out for the taking
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
