it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
