Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
