i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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