Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
