We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
last night I used snow as a chaser
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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