The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
