uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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