Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
