dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
