I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
