So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
