that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
