Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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