i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
