3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
