I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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