She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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