you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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