This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize