My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
