"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
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