ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
