He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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