Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Randomize
