Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I think your dad took our porno
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize