my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
