so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
