i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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