Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
