The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
